Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Not just Black and White?

Not that I have seen Obsessed, the new movie starring Beyonce Knowles, but it has renewed debate about interracial relationships. I guess the movie certainly had the character makeup that might spark that kind of conversation, but it appeared to be more about a crazy ass white girl trying to move in on a brother. I think it would have worked no matter the color of the victimized couple r villian. However, since publications like Essence magazine seemed to believe it was an appropriate platform for the discussion, I guess we should join it here.

The Black man, white woman thing bothers me only if I believe certain mentalities exist within a couple. First, let me start by saying that I have no problem with “LOVE” no matter what color it happens to be. What I have a problem with is hang-ups, self hate, and insecurity disguised as love.

There is one interesting theory I’ve heard as to why black men have this thing with white women. There are some who believe that because of the history that black men have with white men; raping black women, even as their husbands watched, and doing everything possible to emasculate black men has brought about a feeling of wanting to get even. Some believe that for black men, screwing white women is the ultimate revenge whether it be conscious or subconsciously.

Well I see how there could be some truth to that. On the other hand, I think if I were a black man…knowing what I know about the fact that fifty years ago I would have become fruit of some southern tree for simply holding a glance at a white woman too long, I would certainly shutter the thought of sleeping with one now.

White women? To a large degree I think sexual involvement with a black man is either or a combination of two things. One, it’s trendy. You know the way, flared jeans, and bohemian gear is “in” now? Well what happens in 2016? Maybe it will be fashionable to date Chinese guys and dating black men will simply play out. And then, there are the spoiled little white girls who get pissed at their parents for not allowing them to drive the Mercedes to some party of the year in the Hills. “Well I’ll show them, I’ll go sleep with a black guy, yeah that’ll get em’ fired up”.

I don’t appreciate my men being used to piss your fucking parents off, or to carry on your arm like a handbag in the newest Gucci collection. If you love him…fine. If not, go and date some trailer park white trash guy to piss your parents off. I guess you just wouldn’t get as many looks out in public that way though.

As for the reverse situation (black women/white men), well, that seems few and far between. I think despite what sisters go through with brothers we still seem to be a bit more loyal when it comes to our men…historically. Thing is, I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing. Should we begin to think more about ourselves than we do about solidarity?

1 comment:

Stephany E. King said...

I agree. Though it sucks that we "sistas" automatically tick off a list of things that it could be, other than the initial thought of the emotion of .... love. That internal "cringe" that may happen concerning black-man-white-women couples happens (for me personally) because I'm hoping that none of the reasonings you listed are true and its just common interest and attraction that brought said couple together. I have personal stories of woe that can attribute to the negative stereotypes, but I can't carry that baggage around, so I LETITGO! Because of history, social and psychological reasoning, we jump to conclusions; negative conclusions! Personally, as an equal opportunity dater (simply put, I like men) we sisters really would benefit much more if we just LETITGO! Easier said than done, I know.

On the flip side: I am dating a white man. Proximity, common interest and attraction brought us together. Weirdly, other people seem to have issue with our different ethnicities than we do, which is about the only time that we put any thought into it.