Not just Black and White?

Not that I have seen Obsessed, the new movie starring Beyonce Knowles, but it has renewed debate about interracial relationships. I guess the movie certainly had the character makeup that might spark that kind of conversation, but it appeared to be more about a crazy ass white girl trying to move in on a brother. I think it would have worked no matter the color of the victimized couple r villian. However, since publications like Essence magazine seemed to believe it was an appropriate platform for the discussion, I guess we should join it here.

The Black man, white woman thing bothers me only if I believe certain mentalities exist within a couple. First, let me start by saying that I have no problem with “LOVE” no matter what color it happens to be. What I have a problem with is hang-ups, self hate, and insecurity disguised as love.

There is one interesting theory I’ve heard as to why black men have this thing with white women. There are some who believe that because of the history that black men have with white men; raping black women, even as their husbands watched, and doing everything possible to emasculate black men has brought about a feeling of wanting to get even. Some believe that for black men, screwing white women is the ultimate revenge whether it be conscious or subconsciously.

Well I see how there could be some truth to that. On the other hand, I think if I were a black man…knowing what I know about the fact that fifty years ago I would have become fruit of some southern tree for simply holding a glance at a white woman too long, I would certainly shutter the thought of sleeping with one now.

White women? To a large degree I think sexual involvement with a black man is either or a combination of two things. One, it’s trendy. You know the way, flared jeans, and bohemian gear is “in” now? Well what happens in 2016? Maybe it will be fashionable to date Chinese guys and dating black men will simply play out. And then, there are the spoiled little white girls who get pissed at their parents for not allowing them to drive the Mercedes to some party of the year in the Hills. “Well I’ll show them, I’ll go sleep with a black guy, yeah that’ll get em’ fired up”.

I don’t appreciate my men being used to piss your fucking parents off, or to carry on your arm like a handbag in the newest Gucci collection. If you love him…fine. If not, go and date some trailer park white trash guy to piss your parents off. I guess you just wouldn’t get as many looks out in public that way though.

As for the reverse situation (black women/white men), well, that seems few and far between. I think despite what sisters go through with brothers we still seem to be a bit more loyal when it comes to our men…historically. Thing is, I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing. Should we begin to think more about ourselves than we do about solidarity?

Who's Your Daddy?

Not too long ago, I was sitting back watching Maury because I'm a masochist. To the surprise of absolutely no one, the topic was paternity tests. However, this particular segment wasn't some neck-rolling Zaquisha* screaming about how she was a gazillion percent sure that Tyreko* was the father. This time Tyreko was the protagonist. He was sitting there crying about how he wanted to be the father of Zaquisha's child oh-so-bad. And Maury patted him on the back and exclaimed, "I truly commend you for stepping up to be a father. You are a real man!" or something like that. The specifics were lost amongst all the eye rolling going on inside my head.

Over the years, we've been inundated with countless TV specials, talk show segments, and films praising the responsible father. And to this, I have to ask: WHY? As for the basic theory, I get it. One is prone to praise things that rarely happen. But, giving special attention to fathers taking care of their children presupposes that the opposite is the accepted norm. And it shouldn't be.

Though a child physically enters the world through his mother, the mother didn't lay on her back and get herself pregnant. In our society, there is this notion that a mother has a special relationship with her child -- which, I do believe is true -- but, that does not erase the much-needed relationship that a father could provide as well. Each parent is equally responsible for creating said child, thus they are equally responsible for nurturing and providing for said child.

I mean, really, where are all the TV specials for the single mothers grinding out there? Where are their medals and pats on the back? Oh, they don't get any of that? Because they're just doing what they're supposed to do? Hmm, yeah, then the same principle goes for the fathers.

At its core, I think this praise is to inspire more fathers to step up and take responsibility for their sperm count actions. However, the praise is redundant at best, and regressive at worse. It's excessive, unnecessary, and simply unwarranted.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not promoting the elimination of praising parents (both mothers and fathers) for performing exceptional duties in regards to their children. That's a separate aspect. But, dishing out medals to fathers performing basic fatherly duties is like giving a dog a treat for lifting his hind leg to pee. Bottom line: Our community needs to focus less on congratulating responsible fathers and focus more on making sure that fathers taking responsibility is a default action, not an extra credit assignment.

We'll surely benefit from it. Right?

Love ya like Maury guests love infinite percentages,

Cheekie

*These names may or may not be accurate. More like may not. Actually, more like definitely not. Okay, but the names ain't important. The story is. Holler.

Punk Cops in Seattle Washington...and everywhere else!

RAGE is the most appropriate word in the English language that describes how I felt as I witnessed video of a 15-year-old black girl being brutalized by Seattle police. There are so many things that run through my mind…hateful things that I’m not even proud off, and that I would never say out loud. First, I initially wondered just how much of the fact that black people are continuously being brutalized in this way is our own fault. Not for BEING black, but for allowing these SOB’s to keep getting away with it. See you got to wonder why white men play black men the way they do. No respect at all! What other group would allow anybody to do their women that way?
While 50-Cent and Rick Ross and busying themselves talking about who has the most superficial ass material shit and whose baby’s momma is the biggest ho, blah, blah, blah, we have white cops totally disrespecting and beating down our little black girls. Sorry brothers, and I got much love for you, but while I’m no white man, it’s my guess that they may figure you don’t mind so much…..maybe they figure If black men can do the shit to black women, what’s the big deal if I do it?” Funny, that with all the new federal regulations and laws that govern racially motivated crime, etc, (stuff not enacted to help King and X when they were doing their thing), that for some reason, we can’t find a way to stop these cops from brutalizing our people.
Brothers are sitting their asses up in corporate America wearing expensive suits, delegating office shit, and having their pictures taken to be featured in Jet magazine for all of that brown-nosing they did to get wherever they are, but in all their prominent glory they still can’t stop the police from crapping on their teenaged daughters and getting away with it. Or, brothers are running around in the hood trying to play hard and intimidate and kill each other, but become passive as hell when the police roll down the block and can kick the hell out of a sister right in their faces.
And then, at the end of the day brothers are pissed off because sisters have this I can take care of myself attitude, an “I got this, don’t even worry about it… don’t need ya” attitude. Hell in my opinion it’s the prevailing attitude by default. Maybe they feel they have to simply protect themselves, maybe it’s their only choice.

Playing Your Cards Right

I'm a debater by nature. I love to engage in intelligent discussion with people who share my views, but I think I get a bit more excited when I'm engaging with someone who doesn't share my views. Not because I'm trying to pull them over to my side of thinking, though. Okay, maybe a little. It's because I love learning about other people's perspectives.

But, nothing irritates me more in a discussion than a comment that abruptly halts a discussion. A great example of that particular irritant? Five words:

"Not everything is about race."

I swear, it's like the go-to phrase for the average racially squeamish cat. It is fast becoming such an epidemic in our so-called progressive society that it has the potential to not only replace the race card, but far surpass it. And though President Obama's win has created joy, hope, and many opportunities for Blacks to use "My President is Black" as a comeback to The Man, it has also revived this monster. "Post-racial America", anyone?

Much too often I am engaged with a person (whether face-to-face or on the internet) in a conversation such as this one:

Cheekie: You know, I truly believe that even though Barack Obama won, the fact that he had to overcome the amount of obstacles he did in the first place lends validity to the claim that we aren't as "post-racial" as everyone would like to believe.

Racially Squeamish Cat (RSC): Well, I think that since he was elected, that means his race didn't matter.

Cheekie: But, you have to ask yourself, what did it take? People losing their jobs, people losing their lives in a prolonged war, people losing their homes, etc? I wonder if those circumstances were the primary factor in choosing him even if it meant setting aside their prejudices for a bit. Prejudices that are so ingrained, they can't just disappear with one election.

RSC: You know, not everything is about race.

Cheekie: *DEAD*

Yeah, way to completely cut off what could have been a very enriching conversation with one of the safest cop-outs known to man today. That convo might as well have went like this:

Cheekie: You hear about those Klansmen that burned a cross in front of that Black family's yard? Racist pricks.

RSC: I don't know, not everything is about race.

Trust, I recognize those of us who completely abuse that race card. Case in point:

But, ya know, most of us ain't her. First off, we don't sport mullets. Second, a lot of us do have enough brain cells to write off certain situations and give people the benefit of the doubt, but please believe we can also identify valid racism and call them on it. Just because some abuse the race card doesn't mean it shouldn't be used at all. That's like saying that there are people who abuse alcohol, so alcohol should be completely banned even from those who "drink responsibly".

Anyhow. Point is, yes, not everything is about race. But, some things are. Hell, a lot of things are. There is no way we will be able to progress against racism without clearly identifying it as as a valid problem. Discussions on race are uncomfortable, no lie. But, there is nothing to be accomplished from ignoring it. You can't fix a cracked glass and only bring the glue. You have to bring the glass. Holla.

Love ya like Al Sharpton loves his perm,

Cheekie

What Will It Take...

...for justice to be served?

Amongst the joy felt with the charging of Oscar Grant's murderer is a step back. Apparently, there is another officer, Tony Pirone, who punched Mr. Grant several times without cause. The District Attorney states he isn't prosecuting that particular officer. *sigh*

Looks like we gotta get our voices out there again. 

Ridiculous. We already know how much of an impact our voices have due to the action taken prior to this most recent event. Watch the video and see for yourself. And please "sound off" at Color of Change. It only takes a couple of minutes at best. Speak on it.

Love ya like Howard Dean loves screaming,

Cheekie

This is the Day

This, is our president, my people. Beautiful.

Love ya like I love my first family,

Cheekie

UPDATE on Oscar Grant: Ya'll Have Spoken

Just droppin' by to let you know about this:

BART cop transported to Bay Area jail, charged with murder

My sister (Chyna) tipped me off just now and I had to run over and post the news. Obviously the outrage expressed (in many forms: internet, protesting, etc) had a hand in this or this would have been dealt with in a more prompt matter. Just wanted to say thanks to those who did use their voices for justice and to keep on the lookout for how this is resolved.

Love ya like Blago loves himself,

Cheekie