Who's Your Daddy?

Not too long ago, I was sitting back watching Maury because I'm a masochist. To the surprise of absolutely no one, the topic was paternity tests. However, this particular segment wasn't some neck-rolling Zaquisha* screaming about how she was a gazillion percent sure that Tyreko* was the father. This time Tyreko was the protagonist. He was sitting there crying about how he wanted to be the father of Zaquisha's child oh-so-bad. And Maury patted him on the back and exclaimed, "I truly commend you for stepping up to be a father. You are a real man!" or something like that. The specifics were lost amongst all the eye rolling going on inside my head.

Over the years, we've been inundated with countless TV specials, talk show segments, and films praising the responsible father. And to this, I have to ask: WHY? As for the basic theory, I get it. One is prone to praise things that rarely happen. But, giving special attention to fathers taking care of their children presupposes that the opposite is the accepted norm. And it shouldn't be.

Though a child physically enters the world through his mother, the mother didn't lay on her back and get herself pregnant. In our society, there is this notion that a mother has a special relationship with her child -- which, I do believe is true -- but, that does not erase the much-needed relationship that a father could provide as well. Each parent is equally responsible for creating said child, thus they are equally responsible for nurturing and providing for said child.

I mean, really, where are all the TV specials for the single mothers grinding out there? Where are their medals and pats on the back? Oh, they don't get any of that? Because they're just doing what they're supposed to do? Hmm, yeah, then the same principle goes for the fathers.

At its core, I think this praise is to inspire more fathers to step up and take responsibility for their sperm count actions. However, the praise is redundant at best, and regressive at worse. It's excessive, unnecessary, and simply unwarranted.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not promoting the elimination of praising parents (both mothers and fathers) for performing exceptional duties in regards to their children. That's a separate aspect. But, dishing out medals to fathers performing basic fatherly duties is like giving a dog a treat for lifting his hind leg to pee. Bottom line: Our community needs to focus less on congratulating responsible fathers and focus more on making sure that fathers taking responsibility is a default action, not an extra credit assignment.

We'll surely benefit from it. Right?

Love ya like Maury guests love infinite percentages,

Cheekie

*These names may or may not be accurate. More like may not. Actually, more like definitely not. Okay, but the names ain't important. The story is. Holler.

Punk Cops in Seattle Washington...and everywhere else!

RAGE is the most appropriate word in the English language that describes how I felt as I witnessed video of a 15-year-old black girl being brutalized by Seattle police. There are so many things that run through my mind…hateful things that I’m not even proud off, and that I would never say out loud. First, I initially wondered just how much of the fact that black people are continuously being brutalized in this way is our own fault. Not for BEING black, but for allowing these SOB’s to keep getting away with it. See you got to wonder why white men play black men the way they do. No respect at all! What other group would allow anybody to do their women that way?
While 50-Cent and Rick Ross and busying themselves talking about who has the most superficial ass material shit and whose baby’s momma is the biggest ho, blah, blah, blah, we have white cops totally disrespecting and beating down our little black girls. Sorry brothers, and I got much love for you, but while I’m no white man, it’s my guess that they may figure you don’t mind so much…..maybe they figure If black men can do the shit to black women, what’s the big deal if I do it?” Funny, that with all the new federal regulations and laws that govern racially motivated crime, etc, (stuff not enacted to help King and X when they were doing their thing), that for some reason, we can’t find a way to stop these cops from brutalizing our people.
Brothers are sitting their asses up in corporate America wearing expensive suits, delegating office shit, and having their pictures taken to be featured in Jet magazine for all of that brown-nosing they did to get wherever they are, but in all their prominent glory they still can’t stop the police from crapping on their teenaged daughters and getting away with it. Or, brothers are running around in the hood trying to play hard and intimidate and kill each other, but become passive as hell when the police roll down the block and can kick the hell out of a sister right in their faces.
And then, at the end of the day brothers are pissed off because sisters have this I can take care of myself attitude, an “I got this, don’t even worry about it… don’t need ya” attitude. Hell in my opinion it’s the prevailing attitude by default. Maybe they feel they have to simply protect themselves, maybe it’s their only choice.